It's been two years since we broke up, ,
 but it still feels like it was yesterday
I still look towards your direction sometimes
 Because it's not cool
 So much that I can't do anything about it...
 I even tried to forget you because it was so hard
 Where are you, and what are you doing?
 Maybe worrying is unnecessary
 Do you still remember?
 We cried together saying that
 Even though I'm such a weak crybaby
 I'll wait for years until that day comes
 I'm right here I won't go anywhere anymore
 I want to hear your voice, so I'll call you
 Are you avoiding me?
 But one day I found you
 You were holding hands with the person you love now
 And even though I should've been sad,
 I pretend to be strong
 All I did was wave my hand a little
 Good bye to you
 You, that I love so much that I will never be able to see again
 Goodbye, take care
 July 8th, Sunny day
who am i?Y

your not so typical blood loving light hating chocolate craving midnight pretty monster who runs around the house half naked, goes around breaking rules, listening to other people' s problems but not having the ability to solve her own.

what i ?
chocolates, blood, pretty boys, books!

Tagged yah!

the gazette, random shit

miyavi?

ARCHIVES;

February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010

CREDITS;

Designer
Photobucket.
Blogger.
Blogskins.
Picture 1
Picture 2
Splatter Brushes
Lyrics of the song "7?8?" by the gazette

Friday, March 26, 2010
10:24 PM

im sweating like a pig.
sometimes i miss the old carefree me.
who doesn't have any worries
or thinks that classical music is a bedtime lullaby

sometimes i wish i could be innocent again.
i miss the lazy summer day of my childhood.
no heartbreaks
no disappointments
no expectations.
no facades.
just me.
only me.

live.laugh.love..DIE!

Thursday, March 25, 2010
4:06 AM



i am a doll.
since i was young, i remembered being called as doll- like
with my long black curls, fair mestiza skin and rosy cheeks.
growing p, i had my hair straightened, and my skin color got a shade darker due to consistent exposure to the sweltering heat of the sun.
but still people say i look like a doll
and someone told me that i really AM a DOLL.
not only do i look like one, but now, they say i act like one.
cold. snobbish, proper, emotionless.
i lost my kalog attitude.
i used to be compared to a megaphone. im noisy.
now i barely whisper what i say.

i think i just got too calculating.
too many mistakes have turned this Kath into KAT.
just Kat.
no expression, feelings or emotions almost to the point of alienating myself.
sometimes i try to look for a pulse, for warmth for something that'll make me human

THERE"S NONE.



p.s. sinabihan akong mukha akong manika ng 12 beses. ooh. does the number 12 ring a bell?

live.laugh.love..DIE!

Monday, March 22, 2010
1:45 AM

Never Fall In Love With The Wind


I am a warm air
That you always breathe
Sustaining you with life

I am a violent gale
That destroys and ruin
Taking away life

As you know it

I travel from one place to another
But I tell you this we cannot be together
I could carry you up if you were weightless
But I am just able to pass through your dress

Even if I'm just a torrent
It doesn't mean I don't miss you
Yet there is a role I play
Which is I am under
Even if you cannot see me
It doesn't mean you can't feel me
I could carry our memories
But never fall in love with the wind

I am a drifter
Who rides across the world
But my destination is unclear

But I am not like the water
Being hindered by the land
Not as free as I am

As you know it

I travel from one place to another
But I tell you this we cannot be together
I could feel and touch you like how you miss it
But all I can do is steal from you a kiss

Even if I'm just a torrent
It doesn't mean I don't miss you
Yet there is a role I play
Which is I am under
Even if you cannot see me
It doesn't mean you can't feel me
I could carry our memories
But never fall in love with the wind

I am a warm summer breeze
Or a cold winter storm
It's ironic, there is no way you could fall
I am temperamental
So unpredictable
But if you'll accept me for what I am
Your good night sleep is possible

Even if I'm just a torrent
It doesn't mean I don't miss you
Yet there is a role I play
Which is I am under
Even if you cannot see me
It doesn't mean you can't feel me
I could carry our memories
But never fall in love with the wind

Never fall in love with the wind



poem by pendrille san
http://pendrille.multiply.com/journal/item/153/Never_Fall_In_Love_With_The_Wind









===============================================================
it sucks to think
everyone has moved on
he will forever be
my biggest and best mistake.
daisuki da yo. Kaijuu.

live.laugh.love..DIE!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010
7:47 AM

you know what?
i hate my name
Katherine grace
is simply to mediocre and girly for someone like me
my name always gets mispelled into Catherine and it sucks.
and i tell you
grace will NEVER stick with me.ever.

feeling lazy UN-motivated and sore about everything.
im tired. i just to let go of the rope and fall into an abyss of nothingness.
why?
im sick of being me, it feels like a re-run of some old stereotypical movie.
i think i should really shed my skin and be who i am.
truth is im not comfortable with anyone unless its with myself.
even in the organizations that i am affiliated to.
long time ago, i have already set up a line for myself.
and the people who crossed the line and tried to get close,,... uh well let's say they just didn't like what they knew.
because i was never the person they expected me to be.
except for a few people who i can count in ONE hand
people really tried to stick in my face the kath/katherine/kat-kat/kha
ye2/katherine they want me to be.
NO FREAKING WAY.
i never aimed to please anyone in what i do or say

change will come. CHANGE HAS COME.


i will never believe
in anything
AGAIN.

live.laugh.love..DIE!

Friday, March 12, 2010
2:44 AM

Love is a fool's game, and I'm your puppet on a string.


i always wanted to be pretty.
as in head turning-ly beautiful
i really feel that i get vainer and vainer each day..


i want to be
the most beautiful!
rawr


p.s. still missing him from time to time but not as much as i did when he first left..

live.laugh.love..DIE!

Sunday, March 7, 2010
4:59 AM

no i don't hate him
and no i don't love him anymore either
i just don't feel anything anymore.



i like pleasure
spiked with PAIN

live.laugh.love..DIE!

Friday, March 5, 2010
4:14 AM

barely kept myself awake
i've been awakefor 28 hours now as of posting time
we did a presswork
*(he was there of course)
we just ignored each other's existence
as usual he's talking with a girl on the phone
i cant deny that i still feel jealous
after all
even if he's so annoying
and he made me miserable\i still love him
but living without him is another thing
i can.live.without.him
since im not his everything
then ill just be his nothing
pretend that i never ever existed
and that we never ever met


i'll burn your letters and cards tonight
. goodbye memories.

live.laugh.love..DIE!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010
6:41 AM

he came to school today.
seeing him made realize how much i missed him.
i was talking to Rai and Winnie and told them not to get close to me cuz i was feeling sticky and sweaty
i was taken aback when he suddenly touched my arm and said
"hindi naman ah.."
and the whole time i was just ignoring him.
O___O


i know i will always harbor special feelings towards him
but i realized
that it isn't going anywhere
and he seems happy right now
maybe he's liking another girl.
i really dont mind, whatever will make him happy is fine me


Going home, the atmosphere felt heavy
i was riding home with some of my seniors
i was ok except the fact that i was riding with that meanie whom i shall call dubby
it really made me uncomfortable
but i kinda felt glad
cuz kuya junel and ate helen
said goodbye when i rode off the jeepney
(kuya junel mentioned my name. wee. he is not that 'suplado' after all)
but he didn't even say 'bye' before i got off
hmp.

i may have lost him
but i stlll have friends
so who cares.?
it's his loss
NOT MINE.:P

live.laugh.love..DIE!

Monday, March 1, 2010
5:42 AM

and god, i miss the boy
and I'd go a thousand times around the world just to say
he had been mine
for a day..
-bread

Rhona chatted with him kanina. I dont know, but i really felt a sharp pain when i saw his IM window on Facebook.
I tried so hard to be okay. and not to be bitter. i tried to laugh it away. But Julius just gave me this sad look then laughed as if he saw nothing.
Pathetic effort i must say.
HE"S SO FUCKING OVER THE WHOLE THING.
TOUGH SHIT.

i read that he's going to school on Wednesday.
Do i have enough guts to face him without divulging what i really feel?
Can i be brave enough
to look him in the eye and pretend to be someone who doesn't feel any emotion.?

i don't know
i don't wanna see him
and yet a part of me longs for him.

i hope he doesn't get to read this whole thing.
because i don't know what I'll do if he does..



i always want the things that i can't have.:(

live.laugh.love..DIE!